Virgin Wanted: $10,000 Reward
One of the things about women's magazine industry that riles us up the most is that the images they feature bear little semblance to reality. This is especially true with regards to the covers, which, as we point out in our manifesto, are essentially female forgeries, what with all the computer-artistry involving airbrushing, contouring, and, sometimes, outright body-part swapping. But calling out magazine editors for their deception is one thing; showing it is another. That's why, as part of our effort to illustrate the magic (and magical thinking!) that goes into the production of the magazines we all love to hate, we're offering $10K to whomever wins our contest for the best unretouched (that means unaltered in any way!) image to appear on a women's magazine cover in the past two years. As always, we promise your identity will remain anonymous... whether you win or lose. Send your submissions to tips@jezebel.com. And may the best (er, most natural-looking) woman win!
If you've reading this, you're probably wondering about all this Jezebel business. First of all, no, we didn't exactly love name at first, but the patriarchy put its foot down and we complied. (More on that later). But more important than the name is what we wanted Jezebel to be, which is to say, a blog for women that takes all the essentially meaningless but sweet stuff directed our way and gives it a little more meaning, while taking more the serious stuff and making it more fun, or rather, more personal. (There's a reason Oprah's a billionaire, folks!) 
Poor Zoe Glassner. Sure, the 
Jessica Biel's improbable attainment of A-list status continues apace: The Hollywood Reporter brings word that the current Elle cover girl may be initiated into Tinseltown's clique of serious actresses using a method employed by many a starlet before her: Acting like a whore! Says the paper:
Unlike fellow designer Carmen Hawk -- who seems to scowl whenever a photographer takes her picture -- Milla Jovovich was all smiles the other night at the party for the apparel line Jovovich-Hawk. And, as we 
We finally listened to the new Kelly Clarkson hit "Never Again" and we think you oughta know (ha) it's better than all the Alanis-alogizing would have you believe. It's fucking solid. Not that anyone in the entertainment industry seems to give a shit about stuff like their sense of hearing. This week's tabs (like Star, above left) are not only making out poor Kelly to be a modern-day Mama Cass, but perpetuating the stupid rumor already perpetuated sufficiently by 
Hell hath no fury like a B-list actress with too much disposable income and disgust for her own clothes. At least that's our take on the unfortunately-named "foho" fashion phenomenon (think "folk" meets "bohemian"), which, The Daily Telegraph 
We didn't think we'd live to see the day that a celeb tabloid would go out of its way to play down talk of a celeb's weight fluctuation. But Life & Style does just that this week, backing up its trailblazing reputation with this analysis of Jessica Simpson:
The first step of the much buzzed-about sale of Valentino has finally occurred, with private equity firm Permira 
Every week you stand in lines and scan the newsstands for something so utterly devoid of actual substance that you couldn't possibly be tempted to actually buy it. And every week something goes terribly awry and US Weekly doesn't go out of business. Welcome to Midweek Madness. In which we "read" the Wednesday celeb tabs. So you don't "have" to.
The Brits really seem 
Nelly Furtado is so very proud of her (self-purported) stylish ways, that she opened up her fashion scrapbook to share her 10 fave looks of the past year with People.com. Sounds innocent enough, we know -- but the exercise all but burned our retinas from the trauma of it all. So to work through our issues, we've decided to re-caption Nelly's comments with some of our own. After the jump, of course. 
"I would like to know more about my history; at some point you ask: where did I come from?" says the man who personified the look of wealthy Americana, Ralph Lauren, upon 
A few hours ago we 
Despite the bad omens -- the introduction of two apparel lines designed by British celebs; Burberry's 
How times change. Take this image from a recently-released archive at UCLA showing a computer-created rendering of "Miss Formula", the 'perfect female'". Published in the LA Times in July 1964, "Miss Formula"'s curvaceous (and presumably, life-size) ideal has, of course, morphed into something a little more boyish and a lot more emaciated. Something kinda like the taut little brunette presenting her for display!